Valentines Day Survival Kit

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By Tasleem Gierdien, 9 February 2024

‘Do you. Do what makes YOU happy.’ How singles, couples and the heartbroken can survive Valentine’s Day

Charissa Bloomberg, a Clinical Psychologist speaks about the mental health impacts around Valentine’s Day.

Clarence Ford speaks to Charissa Bloomberg, a Clinical Psychologist about celebrating Valentine’s Day for couples, singletons and the heartbroken. 

Whether you love Valentine’s Day, feel it should be every day, feel ambivalent about it, dread it as a singleton or feel like it’s a commercial day existing to serve capitalism alone.

Valentine’s Day is coming and there are several ways to celebrate the day of love whether you’re in a relationship, single or just broke up with someone. Let’s get to it. 

If you’re in a relationship:

Bloomberg has one rule: “Do you, do what works for you. Do what is right for you and what makes you happy.” 

The clinical psychologist recommends sitting down with your partner to discuss how and if you’d like to honour the love you share.

Bloomberg also says:

  • Don’t focus on social media and what other people are doing, do what’s best for your partnership.
  • Don’t compare your relationship to others or what you see online.

If you’re in your feels, dreading being alone:

Bloomberg says: 

  • Do something for yourself, don’t sit in the dark alone, do something with your friends or family.
  • Write a letter to yourself documenting what you can offer someone, “you’ll be blown away” by the amazing qualities you have to offer someone.
  • Avoid social media and don’t compare your love life to others.
  • Appreciate being alone – being alone is luxurious – you can do what you want, when you want and if you want – spend time getting to know yourself and what makes you happy.

“Take this time to work on yourself because what they don’t tell you is – if you don’t work on yourself, you’ll project your unhealed trauma onto the next person if you just jump into a relationship because you don’t want to be alone and the cycle will continue until you… take the time to work on yourself.”

Kit Charissa Bloomberg, Clinical Psychologist

  • Do something for someone else, psychologically when you give to others, you hurt a little bit less. 
  • Practice self-integrity – keep the promises you make to yourself. It can be as simple as just ACTUALLY going to the gym, buying yourself a coffee or just doing something small that makes you happy.
  • Don’t forget:15 February is Single’s Day – now you have two days to celebrate loving yourself!

If you’re mourning a relationship:

  • Feel all the feels and take time to mourn the breakup. 
  • Do a ritual to let it go; cry if you need to, delete the photos, write a letter about what you meant to each other, why it ended, what you could’ve had but won’t – then, tear it up, burn it – just let it go. Close the chapter and then celebrate YOU by starting your healing journey – be gentle and kind to yourself while you work on yourself.
  • Learn from the breakup, about yourself and allow yourself to grow because of those learnings instead of blaming yourself or feeling regretful.

Bloomberg adds that “you don’t need someone to complete you” while reminding yourself that Valentine’s day is the day for love (not just for the romantic kind), so show it to yourself and everyone… all of the time.

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